Yep you read it right, post partum depression. Sucks, sucks, sucks! I start my new medication tomorrow. The truth is I've been suffering in silence for a few months now and I finally made the bold choice to call my OB. It is something that I have been wrestling with and fighting for a few months now. In fact when I went in for my 6 weeks post partum check I knew I had it, I just didn't want to admit it. Who likes to admit that they need help? That the one thing that was wanted for so long left me feeling worthless and helpless. I somehow thought it would all go away, that as Rayna's crying got better, so would I. Well, that came and went and I didn't notice a difference in fact, I was only getting worse. I feel like I'm drowning and everyone is standing around watching only, no one is jumping in to save me. Growing increasingly agitated and completely vulnerable, I decided enough was enough. I'm sad. The last thing I wanted in this life was to end up on anti-depressants again. I know its for the better but right now I'm struggling with the fact that I need a pill to help balance out my life.
I've been trying to make sure I have some me time once a week which seems to be helping. Also I've been cleaning out closets, getting ready for a yard sale which seems to be keeping my mind off things. Life just gets overwheleming at times. I'm working on it everyday, working to try and find this so called "balance".
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