6 Months Old!

Happy half birthday my little queen! What a long way you have come. I can still remember those first days like it was yesterday. Wondering how we were going to make it through one day to the next, but here we are 6 months later, ALIVE! Although Rayna still cries alot she has gotten better over time. I'm starting to think it's just her personality and she basically likes to whine. We are still breastfeeding and going strong. I don't see an end in sight anytime in the near future. She is now off of her reflux meds and growing like a weed. I love my little queen and I wouldn't trade her for another.

Madness!

Lately I feel like I'm stuck in a bad dream and I can't wake up. It turns out selling our home wasn't the best idea. Packing up and leaving the home that we started our family was very, very hard. We put so much time and careful thought into that home, that it made it hard to leave behind. I sobbed in silence for days.

I'm sure there were other contributing factors to the sadness, but I was devastated when we drove away. For now, all of our belongings are in storage and we are homeless. Living out of bags and boxes is probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I'm a homebody by nature, and not having a home or my own space is making me loony. This is only week 1.

Ray and I both have had our share of break downs but we are trying to remain optimistic that there are better things on the other side of this. We are leaving to go look at houses in a few short minutes, and we hope to have it narrowed down to a few by the end of the week.

Say an extra prayer for us,

SOLD!

In case you haven't heard we SOLD our home! What started out as an experiment, turned into a whirlwind. Ray and I got a wild hair one day and decided we'd try to put our home up for sale, just to see if we got any nibbles. Within 24 hours we had multiple calls, all of which turned out to be nothing. But, last Saturday while leaving for a birthday party, a couple drove by and wanted to take a tour. So, Ray being the nice guy he is, gave them a tour. They instantly liked it, and asked how soon we could be out? Crap! We weren't prepared to be out for another couple of months but what could we do? We had to jump at the opportunity. So that we did!

This is why I have been MIA. We've been busy and stressed, also trying to tie up all the loose ends. As it stands right now they are set to take over ownership in 20 days, while we are left homeless. But, hopefully not for long. We are confident that we will be moving on to bigger and better things. I know everything happens for a reason but, I'm struggling to find the reason in all this madness! If anyone wants to help, just hollar.

A Year Ago Today!

We found out we were pregnant! Although we didn't know it at the time, I was baking my sweet baby girl. I love her so much and wouldn't trade her for another. I can't believe how fast time goes by. It's amazing to think that it has already been one year since I peed on that stick one August morning. Our lives would forever be changed and the challenges that lied ahead were yet to be unknown. What a miracle life is...I feel so blessed to have the ones I have in it.

Weight Loss Cont.

So my first goal of 5 pounds weight loss in 15 days came and went and I didn't succeed. I was 3 pounds away from the number I wanted to be at. But, in all actuality I did end up losing 5 pounds in 15 days, but when I got on the scale for a weigh in, at the beginning of my 15 days, to my surprise I was up 3 pounds. So, not only did I have to lose those 3 pounds but I also wanted to lose 5 more on top of the 3, sigh. So all and all I did OK, even though I didn't get to the number I wanted to be at, I still lost the 5 pounds. I still feel better then ever (energy wise) and I'm excited to see where this road leads. Hopefully it will continue on the path or weight loss!

If you happened to miss the first half of weigh loss click here!

Mr. Big Boy!

Rayce has now graduated into a big boy bed! While he was away with Noni for the weekend we went out and got him this cool new race car bed. Of course he thought it was the coolest thing ever and he just adores sleeping in it. His first night in it, daddy laid with him until he fell asleep, and he stayed in the bed the entire night. The following day he stayed in his room and played in there for a good majority of the day. This is almost unheard of, for Rayce. His second night in the bed he went to sleep all by himself and stayed in it the entire night as well. I think it's safe to say, Rayce loves his new bed. He had no problems giving up his crib to his sister!

4 Months Old!

My little lady will be 4 months old tomorrow! Can you believe it? My, my how time flies! She's such a joy to be around these days. She's still quite the talker but most of all she loves to laugh and smile. She still not rolling over but she recently discovered her feet and she just loves to play with those. She also loves to play on her activity mat with all her toys and especially loves it when her brother gets down there with her.

She still has her days when all she wants to do is cry but for the most part, I think that is all behind us now. She also had a set back with her reflux issues, and as a result she is back on her medication. I'm OK with that...I mean, if she's in pain and needs it then so be it! Trust me she's much more pleasant to be around while on her meds.

We are all still trying to adjust to being a family of 4. I'm not sure how long it will take but for right now it's an everyday work in progress. Dividing attention between 2 kids is definitely a challenge, but well worth it at the end of the day!

Microwave NO MORE!

Rayce thought it would be a good idea to stick on of his cars in the microwave this morning and turn it on. As sparks flew and I watched in horror I thought the thing was going to explode. I was sure he was going to die. I was feeding Rayna so I couldn't act fast enough so all I did was yell, "no Rayce no!" It was seriously one of the craziest light shows ever, and after the 5 seconds was over we held each other tight and just shook.

Then he glances over at me and says, "Momma my car, it's broken!" I replied, "yes son, you broke your car and you can't do that ever again." (only it didn't sound that nice) "That's a No, no, no!" He goes, "Yes momma, it's scary."

I am seriously at my wits end. Not in a way that I want to give up but in a way that I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm frustrated, it's frustrating. Nothing is going right, I'm being pulled in all sorts of direction and I can't keep up. Something has got to give, these kids are running me ragged. All I ask for is a few uneventful days...PLEASE, pretty please!

Becoming more Aware!

I love how alert Rayna is now. She spends more and more time awake and she loves gazing at her toys. I bought her this cool activity mat at a yard sale for $3 and she absolutely loves it. It amazes me how much more alert she is than Rayce was at this age although, she isn't quite as mobile as he was. Rayce was already rolling at this age. It's crazy how much each one of your kids differ from the other. Rayna is also a lot more vocal then Rayce was. I think she's gonna be a talker, or even a singer at that. She loves to babble and well, cry but we all already knew that. I love this stage! This is where things get more exciting everyday...

Visitors from Home!

On Saturday Rayna met her grandma Hayden for the first time! I'd like to say we all had a great time, minus us being late because Ray forgot the propane. (wink, wink) Overall I think our little get together turned out a-okay! We got a few great once in a life time pictures to share with the kids when they get older, as well as some adult time playing a few games. Everyone was beyond pooped the next day but that's OK, because it was a great time!

Weight Loss

I'm sure you've all heard, (because I talk about it a lot) but just in case you haven't I've lost 43 pounds! I lost an initial 25 after having Rayna, and since, I've lost another 18 on my own. I guess I can give some of the praise to Rayna, for causing me to burn extra calories while breastfeeding, as well as being sensitive to dairy. But on top of cutting out dairy, I've also cut out a lot of extra things on my own and overall I feel great! I couldn't be more excited about it.

My goal is to lose another 40 pounds by the end of the year, which will put me well under 200 pounds. Somewhere I haven't been in over 10 years. But for now I'm setting small goals. Like, right now I'm working on losing another 5 pounds in 15 days. I know I can do it if I set my mind to it, and having the encouragement from family and friends makes it all the more better. Maybe soon I will furnish a before and after pic. Some people give me a lot of compliments while other don't seem to see a change. I know I do! Half of the clothes in my closet no long fit but I'm not complaining!

A Father's Love!

Then he quickly got down and joined in on the fun! What a GREAT dad! And it shows, they truly love him...

My Babies

I don't have much to blog about so instead I'll share some pictures I took today!






Rayce loves to share "floor time" with his sister. If she's on her back then he is, if she's on her tummy then he is! It's too cute! I love these kids...it's never a dull moment with them around. ;)

3 months!

Rayce loves his sister. He always says "that's my sista, she's purtty" and then proceeds to give her a kiss. It's just the sweetest. She's now 3 months and I can't believe how fast it has gone by. She's becoming more alert and aware now but she's still a diva, demanding all the attention all the time. We love her though and wouldn't trade her for another. ;)

Isn't she lovely?

This is just a little video of Rayna I took the other day. I just love her to pieces!

Post Partum Depression

Yep you read it right, post partum depression. Sucks, sucks, sucks! I start my new medication tomorrow. The truth is I've been suffering in silence for a few months now and I finally made the bold choice to call my OB. It is something that I have been wrestling with and fighting for a few months now. In fact when I went in for my 6 weeks post partum check I knew I had it, I just didn't want to admit it. Who likes to admit that they need help? That the one thing that was wanted for so long left me feeling worthless and helpless. I somehow thought it would all go away, that as Rayna's crying got better, so would I. Well, that came and went and I didn't notice a difference in fact, I was only getting worse. I feel like I'm drowning and everyone is standing around watching only, no one is jumping in to save me. Growing increasingly agitated and completely vulnerable, I decided enough was enough. I'm sad. The last thing I wanted in this life was to end up on anti-depressants again. I know its for the better but right now I'm struggling with the fact that I need a pill to help balance out my life.

I've been trying to make sure I have some me time once a week which seems to be helping. Also I've been cleaning out closets, getting ready for a yard sale which seems to be keeping my mind off things. Life just gets overwheleming at times. I'm working on it everyday, working to try and find this so called "balance".

Better In Time

Life is slowly getting back to normal. The last few months have been total chaos but as Rayna is getting better the whole family is getting better as well. As most of you know Rayna has been an extremely difficult baby and it took a toll on the whole family. Hopefully that is all behind us now and I can get back to doing the things I once loved.

Rayna will be 3 months next week. She is now cooing and smiling at you, as well as sleeping through the night. On most nights she will sleep for 6-7 hours but she has slept for as much as 9! I can't tell you what a world of difference a little sleep makes. She still cries a lot and requires a lot of one on one attention but in time she is getting better. She is still on her reflux medication but her pedi hopes to have it cut out by 6 months. I am also on a dairy, nut, egg and coffee free diet. Which hasn't been easy but, I have seen such an improvement with eliminating all of this from my diet that if it's helping her, I'm willing to make the sacrifice. She loves to carry on a conversation with anyone! She loves to talk back if you talk to her. I love her, she is growing up way too quick.

Rayce is now 2.5 years old and growing like a weed. Bless his little heart he is probably the one who has had the hardest time through all of this. Rayna has been quite an adjustment for him but everyday he gets better. Ray and I are working on being more patient with him and learning to have a softer approach, as far as discipline and so far it seems to be working. We were trying a tougher kind of discipline with him but it seemed to be making him act out more and him tantrums were getting out of hand. Not that they still aren't (at times) but I have definitely seen an improvement over the last couple of weeks. He is also talking non-stop (who would've thought) and talking in sentences. He pretty much knows how to communicate what he wants now and that in it's self makes life so much easier. He loves cars (as always) playing on his new swing set outside, and playing ball. He's such a curious little guy, always getting into everything but nonetheless we have a great time with him.

Like I said last time, I'm going to try and update this thing more often (hopefully) so check back in. Miss everyone, that's all for now. ;)

She's 1 month!

Whoa, how time flies when you're having fun! My baby girl is 1 month old and this blog is seriously neglected. It has been neglected for a reason though. You see this girl is one tough cookie. Her yellow brick road hasn't been so yellow thus far. We are currently battling reflux and a severe case of colic. Both have different diagnosis, handled in different ways. It hasn't been easy and is probably one of the hardest things I've had to deal with in a long time. I'm looking forward to the day that she out grows all of this, but at the same time, I'm sad because I am missing out on her precious baby days. I'm so occupied dealing with the pesky stuff. Sleep is few and far between and at times I feel like I'm going a little nutty but I hope to keep up with this blog a little bit more so that I have something to look back on. That's all she wrote for now...

Update

So much has happened since my last post but basically since that afternoon in L&D my pregnancy was never the same. A little over a week after my last post I found myself in L&D once again only this time I didn't come home. My BP just wouldn't budge and I was spilling protein into my urine so, complete bed rest it was for me until delivery.

I'm working on my birth story now, but our precious baby girl was born into this world on Monday April 13, 2009 at 9:59 AM. She weighed in at 7 pounds 1.9 ounces and was 19 3/4 inches long. We are so in love and she is such a blessing. She is just what this family needed, it is now complete.

Afternoon in L&D

The pain started last night at around 2 in the morning. A pain that I had never felt before. It felt like I needed to go poo so, I got up and went to the bathroom and nothing. So I just shrugged it off and went back to bed then, the pain woke me up again. So, I sat there debating what to do and decided it was probably nothing so I went back to sleep. Well, when I woke up this morning it started up again only this time it was radiating to my lower back and vise verse so I decided to give my doc a call. Rayce was being a total jerk and he was not in the mood to let me rest which was making matters worse. I was hurting and I just wanted to lay down. Finally, they returned my call around lunch time and by this time I was annoyed. The nurse asks me a series of questions and determines she needs to speak with a doctor so, the waiting game began again.

She finally calls back around 1:30 and asks me how I'm feeling? I said I'm still in pain. She goes "OK, I want you to go to the hospital to be monitored for preterm labor." Gulp, panic time! Because...

I still needed to take a shower, I had tried to take one earlier in the morning but the wind blew out our hot water heater and I had to wait for Ray to come home to relight it during his lunch break. Also, I had to scramble to find Rayce a baby sitter because he was sleeping so I couldn't just take him with me or drop him off somewhere. Then, I didn't want to go alone so, I had to call Ray at work to see if he could come with me, in between all this I had to remember to breathe! I did all this and managed to be out the door by 2:20, score!

So, I get to the hospital and the admissions process was pretty quick. I signed a few forms and they took me back. I get all hooked up and sure enough I'm having a few mild contractions but nothing to major. Once, again I'm asked a series of questions and then my doctors arrives and says the baby looks fine but I have a feeling it might be something else. She says she needs to blood work so again I sit and wait. One hour passes and still no blood work lady. So, I decide to move the monitor so it starts beeping and the nurse is forced to come in and check on me. She goes "they haven't come to draw your blood yet?" Uh, no lady! Finally, they come to draw my blood and again I sit and wait! Meanwhile, I have no cell phone service so I can't call or text all my lovely peeps to let them know whats going on. So annoying!

At last a light at the end of the tunnel! (3 hours later) Contractions are mild, baby looks great, we suspect you're having gall bladder problems. WTF? Call the office tomorrow to set up an ultrasound appointment because you need to be fasting to have the test. Sigh. All that for that? Yep, pretty much!

On the positive side, I'm glad it wasn't contractions because I am not ready not have this baby. On the other side, I'm still in pain and they're not sure what's causing it. Hopefully I will have more answers later in the week.

Sick, again!

My poor little Rayce he is sick yet again. Doesn't he look horrible? Although, I feel this picture does no justice for how Rayce has been feeling nor, for what we have been through this weekend. This will make the third time since the cold/flu season started that Rayce has been sick. I don't understand how he is getting sick so much. At first, I thought he had caught croup since he was exposed to it on Monday but, as the weekend went on it's been more apparent that he just caught a nasty virus. His toys have gone untouched all weekend and he has basically just been slumping around whimpering and whining, my poor little guy. I think this has been the hardest virus thus far. Ray and I have just felt totally helpless the last couple of days. It breaks my heart to see Rayce suffering. Pray that he gets well soon not just for his health but mine as well. Momma is pooped!

Soon a Family of 4

Lately I've spent my days trying to wrap my mind around what it's going to be like when we become a family of 4. I cannot grasp what kind of adjustment it will be. Not so much for Ray and I but for my sweet Rayce. He is used to being the center of our world and I know, that will all soon come crashing down for him. Throughout this pregnancy he has grown into quite a mommas boy and it breaks my heart to think that soon, most of my time will have to be devoted to my little lady. I think this is going to be our biggest challenge, splitting my time between 2.

I'm sure over time it will all be fine, as soon as we all adjust but, for now, I'm trying to brace myself for those first few months. Thank the Lord that I have Ray and that Ray is an awesome dad. I have no doubt that he will pick up the slack where need be and I know he will without a doubt step up to the plate when I ask him to. When Rayce was a newborn he helped me so much throughout the night, never once making a fuss. Even taking Rayce on car rides at 4 in the morning when he had to be up for work in a few short hours. I am so grateful for him and I tell you I couldn't do all this without him.

These are just a few things on my mind as time is winding down. I'm getting closer and closer to my due date you know. It's bitter sweet. For now, I'm trying to embrace every moment of my last pregnancy but as time gets close, I cannot wait!

More Gifts!

I am so blessed to have such wonderful family and friends! I never thought that I would receive so many wonderful things the second time around. Once again, thank you everyone. I truly appreciate it.